It’s the Super Bowl….yippee…..yahoo and yeehaw! Yes, my friends, that’s the sound of excitement, for the Super Bowl is upon us. If the sound seems somewhat forced, consider yourselves observant. For some reason I am just not that stoked about the greatest of all sports party days…..perhaps I had too much Fireball during the Seahawks season…..perhaps I am growing up. Whoah, my apologies, I don’t know what just came over me. Too much Fireball? Is that even possible? I am more likely in a Fireball withdrawal, causing my exuberance to be stifled. No fear; I shall overcome.
The 49ers and the Ravens….the Ravens and the 49ers…..Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh…..Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh….oh wait, that doesn’t work….Perhaps my lack of excitement comes from the overwhelming fear that I will have to watch Jim Harbaugh celebrate a Super Bowl victory….sharpie on a string, sweatshirt firmly tucked in place……douche bag look planted on his douche bag face. Ooops, got a little carried away there. What can I say; douche bags bring out the bitter in me.
My only glimmer of hope for enjoying this year’s Super Bowl (besides a fresh gallon of Fireball) is that John Harbaugh and the Ravens come through for me and beat the 49ers 1 million to zero. So, yes, there is a chance I shall enjoy this game after all. Of course, “boring” Joe Flacco is gonna need a lot of protection from the Blind Side….but, there’s a chance. The defense could score too, I mean, if the Ravens are gonna rack up 1 mill, they’re going to have to. You don’t score 1 million points on your own, not last time I checked anyway.
So, hear my plea Ray Rice, run like you have never run before. Listen up Ray Lewis; you want your children Raven, Ray III, Rayshan, Diamond Desiree and Rayshad to be proud, don’t you? Quick question- Diamond Desiree? Did you run out of ways to use Ray? What about Rayla? Raynay? Just spit balling here……Rayshonda? Seems like you kind of mailed it in on that one. Dennis Pitta- be the best tight end you ever could be. Haloti…do what you could never do at
So, as we stand here on the Day before the Day before, I send you all my strength, wisdom (which let’s be honest, you aren’t getting a whole lot there, but it’s the thought that counts) and my positive juju. Use it, run with it and win. Just win. Beat those darn 49ers, and, when you do, I just ask one thing of the TV crews- please pan over to Alex Smith so we can see if he is smiling.